If presence, love and the depths of our experience represent the utmost of beauty available to us in this lifetime, what is the ugliness in this world?
Or, at least, what do I mean when I use the word “ugliness”?
Effectively, I mean everything outside of the beauty.
I mean greed, selfishness, ambition, stepping on others to achieve a goal, unrelenting goal-orientation, being a zombie running on automatic pilot, disregard for your fellow human being, callousness, superficiality, materialism, status symbols, the desire for money, sex and power as the ultimate end.
All of these things are ugly in their own ways.
Yet, they are all so commonplace as to be considered part of the fabric of existence by most and certainly not anything to judge harshly or criticise.
To say that I lament the ugliness of the world might sound like I’m standing outside of it or have elevated myself above it and separate from it and am condemning it from afar. This is not truly the case at all, however, as I have witnessed all of these things playing out in my very own psyche many times. It’s not even though I can righteously now claim, well, these were foibles of my youth and, now, as a 37 year old man, I am far beyond them. Not even close. The ugliness is still part of me today and, I daresay, likely always will be.
These things don’t have to stem from an evil place. They may do. But they may not. These things can stem from a traumatised place in us, a place of wasn’t loved and attuned to and nurtured and securely attached as a child, a place of lack. And from that place, the world seems scarce. Resources are limited and I have to get mine before someone else takes it from me. In this way, survival consciousness takes over and we are driven to do what’s necessary to make life work for us and, possibly but not always, our family too.
Love and heart are off the table. They are not considered of any value. In fact, they stand in the way of survival. They are antithetical to it.
We see this ugliness play out on the world stage constantly and it is accepted as virtuous and brilliant. Any kind of competition at all stems from this place. By its very nature, competition ensures a winner and a loser and we praise the winner and denigrate the loser. Where does compassion fit into this picture?
Sport. Politics. Business.
These are all competitive pursuits.
Part of my objective as a cricket player, is to beat the opposition. In politics, attack ads are seen as a winning strategy, because of their effectiveness. In business, it’s generally an attitude of kill or be killed, even if that mentality is often dressed up in a host of other costumes, virtue signalling through superficial charitable endeavours and wishes of good will to others.
Given this is the world we live in today and it’s the consciousness that plays out in our media, social or otherwise, how do we find the beauty in ourselves and live it in such a way that we may embody it and share it with others?
It requires going against the stream.
It requires separating oneself from what is seen as the norm by society.
It requires being an outcast.
It requires courage.
It also requires a great deal of determination, steadfastness, strength and will.
To not just show up there once, but to do it again and again and again and change habits in our psyche that have been there and well-established for generations in our ancestry. To establish new habits in their stead. Habits of presence, love and deep attunement and intimacy.
It is not for the faint hearted.
But it is the only thing of value here.